Finally Happy

I haven't thought about it much lately, but today I've come to realize just how happy and lucky I am. I mean there are things in my life that suck, and things that I complain about. There are thoughts that get me down, and scare me. There are worries that never seem to go away, and suspicions and questions that never get answered, that bother me. But, despite all that, I am happy.

My parents may be divorced, but they couldn't be happier. They have become better people because of their decision 7 years ago and so have I. My grandfather died 4 years ago, and it broke my heart, but it also gave me a better appreciation for the things he did, and for what he taught me. It also allowed me to appreciate my last living grandparent even more. My best friend seems almost nonexistent anymore, but look at the 20 or so others that have proven to be faithful. My brother is a jerk, and has a lot of problems from his past and in his present that hurt me terribly, but I learn from his mistakes, and I grow from them.

There is so much bad in our lives, that, though, it may cause pain or turmoil, it also can result in good. It can result in growth of our inner being, of our strength, of our knowledge and understanding. It can result to realizations that carry us to far better things, and places.

Without the bad, there can be no good. What meaning or value would the good have if there was no bad to compare it to? The bad may suck, and it may be something hard to pull through and get past, but it IS possible to overcome. "The sun will rise," as they say.

I never thought it would happen, but I am finally comfortable with who I am. For the first time I don't feel out of my element, or like I am somewhere I don't belong. I am where I am supposed and want to be. It's one of the best feelings in the world.